Also hi BGM. WTF youre her mother not her BFF get it together and help your husband round her out! Its that shes finding she doesnt always like her dad. You probably had no idea you were getting into this no-win relationship when it began. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? One of her friends had already seen the series and the others wanted to come over and watch the show on Netflix. I get that maybe he feels like an alien within you & daughters girl bubble, but the way to fix that is not to strong-arm her into liking National Geographic. Obsessed with dolls? My comment obviously wasnt clear. Game of Thrones? His dad was hyper critical that my boyfriend was interested in computers and cello, not hunting and fishing. Respect the boundaries and, as far as possible, learn to relax and take refuge on your side of the fence. Im a mom of a 14 yr old version of this LWs daughter mine is going to One Direction on Thursday, and will be spending all of Wednesday and Thursday both preparing for this epic event. And LW- anyone who tells you Firefly is not a good show doesnt know what their talking about! Wendys relationship with her parents as a young girl feels ridiculously close with my relationship with my parents. If your husband wants a good relationship with his daughter he must first quit disparaging her and her interests and he must quit rolling his eyes. There are also a bunch of shows on the history channel or the science channel about science-fiction kind of stuff. It makes me very depressed that the new Star Trek movies are so popular when the brilliance of DS9 and TNG are all but forgotten amongst our youth . lets_be_honest He never rolled his eyes at me or made me feel less because of what I liked. He started throwing me out at 13 for reasons like my friend being weird, my hair being weird, my music being terrible, etc. But I also honestly think that the husband/dad might not be such a jerk face if he wasnt 100% put on the back burner. Twin Flame & Soul Mate Guide, 22 Things You Should Know in Dating Latino Men: What To Expect, Dating Canadian Men: 22 Things You Should Know & What To Expect, Dating Australian Men: 22 Things You Should Know & What To Expect, Dating American Men: 22 Things You Should Know & What To Expect. And he doesnt have to hide that. My Husband Is An Angry Parent And I Hate It. But he read the paper and talked about the articles, so I started reading the paper and talking about the articles. My dad would also try to do things we liked. July 2, 2013, 11:13 am. 2. Apparently I am super wrong about This Old House my college friends would just give me a blank stare if I brought it up. That means theres a common ground there, even if its the size of a postage stamp. Theres forcing your kids to do something outside of their comfort zone, normal range of interests which I am ok with and then theres refusing to listen to music in the car EVER? Where is the suggestion to ask the daughter what she may want to do? If he had been the one to write to me, Id be giving him an earful, believe me), but it only means you need to step up and be MORE parental, which includes putting your daughters interests first. Navigating a situation like this can be difficult, but its important to do what you can to resolve the conflict. Being oblivious to financial matters. Finally, try to model the behavior you want to see from your husband and daughter. Theyve Seen Firsthand How Unhappy Their Parents Are, 3. I dont see the comparison between telling a small child about healthy eating habits and forcing them to eat veggies and this situation. I loved how proud and impressed he was when I got the answer right, or parroted back some of his trivia. July 2, 2013, 3:55 pm, Damn, this is like the last thing I would think commenters would get all riled up and defensive over , 6napkinburger July 3, 2013, 1:13 am, Wait, is it possible to watch Sarah Michelle Gellar try to act and NOT roll your eyes? July 2, 2013, 4:32 pm. And its his behavior that is the problem and his behavior that needs to change here. But you know what. They loved the entire concept and they loved the show. I am a much better, well adjusted adult because he did this instead of pretending to like whatever show I was watching at the time. You have to admit, its kind of fun catching and reeling in the fish. This year I took her to the Botanical Gardens not my first choice of activities, but it was a nice day and the gardens are pretty. My stepfather and my mother told me I was weird and that Id regret it because Id never be popular or normal, or get boys to like me. I feel like Im in a relationship with two people, one who really loves me and his evil twin who emerges without warning or reason.. As a result, she may start to rebel and act out, which can eventually drive her away from her family. My dream is to just have a commune where all my family lives together , honeybeenicki So if you lend your car to your best friend, your sister or even your second cousin, your insurance is most often the insurance that will pay in the event of an accident. Surely, they can find a few places where their interests overlap a little bit. And not just to me and your husband. He may be uncomfortable talking about his feelings or sharing personal stories. The dad is setting the tone for the relationship here and it is one of disrespect for anything that isnt your own interest and his daughter is probably picking up that attitude and acting in a reciprocal way. Something like that might be a good intersection of the father and daughters interests. My husband has driven our children away with his dictatorial behaviour 04 May, 2019 01:00 You need to be gentle but honest with your friend about her crush MY HUSBAND is not an emotional. Our daughter just turned thirteen and she loves Star Trek, Dr. Who, Cat Warriors, fantasy books, theater and acting and swimming. Every time I try to get ahead of the game, I feel like the rug is pulled out. Whatever you do, make sure you stay true to yourself. Your days of Tigerbeat should be long tempered by now. July 15, 2013, 3:00 pm. All of this has tended to push her (and me, to some extent) away from him. July 2, 2013, 11:03 am, I think what needs to be addressed here is the the primary relationship in a familythe marriage. Shes driving me crazy and I dont know how long I can take it.. I fell in love with football and cooking and baseball, which were things he loved. I just have to say, I have NEVER felt comfortable choosing what to watch on tv if Im in the same room as my dad because I know he thinks 95% of what Id want to watch is annoying. Did I fight with my dad as a teenager? I agree with you, again. My daughter and I are a lot like you and yours. I was hoping to be able to tell her that she has a grandbaby coming, but its still too early to know. But you do so at your husbands expense, your daughters expense, and possibly the expense of your marriage. He needs to make some fundamental changes to his behaviour. One teenager in the house is bad enough But TWO must be exhausting. Seriously. It will also probably be more effective if you can get your children to stand alongside you, at least during the initial intervention and I realise that will be hard. temperance Ive been following you for years and while I dont always agree with your answers I think this was the most misguided and off the mark. . My dad said to me that the best thing you can do as a parent is expose your kid to all of their options and let them decide from there. Whats wrong with a daughter that is well-informed by national geographic and knows how to make a fire? July 2, 2013, 12:43 pm, Shes 12 at what age are you supposed to be more able to enjoy mindless pop culture!?! You know what, I thought you were going to lay in hard when I first started reading, and I was thinking to myself Oh fuck, hes going to hit on all her worst innermost thoughts and shes just going to run screaming away from DW but frankly, I think you are completely right. You have to do whats best for yourself and your family. On the flip side, my mother was much like LWs husband in that she always encouraged competitiveness and athleticism and things she thought were good. July 3, 2013, 12:54 am, Uh oh some you will be called BSLBH. Ask the dentist: Why can some people not cope with the word 'fat'? At a certain point you just have to laugh at all the differences and enjoy the fact that the other person is having a good time! This is exactly my experience, too. And my dad is so crazy into going to my games Walter said he was yelling his head off at the last one. I wish Id been closer to my mother growing up, but now that Im almost 30, were as close as can be, so maybe itll just take a few years. Oh, how fun for all three of you to just sit around endlessly for hours while the dvd player spins Buffy endlessly And then, next, comes Angel! lets_be_honest I think she may have deactivated. When children become teenagers, they sometimes start to distance themselves from their parents. We watched Eureka last year and our daughter loved it and talked about it with her friends. My father did not appreciate the pop culture stuff and always reminded me that I was smarter than this. Addressing issues with the person whos causing the problem is just a good habit to get into, you know? Plus he writes strong female characters, which is good for any girl growing up to identify with. Ooh, that was common ground for my dad and sisters and I. Mini golf. So, based on my experience, its not helpful to your daughter to make it you against him. Not knowing who the Beatles were, I thought it was something ABOUT beetles, and asked them Is it interesting? . First and foremost, of course, is the safety of your children. 'My husband is a terrible driver. If your daughter is still willingly doing these activities I dunno since most teenagers are rather bratty and self absorbed and not keen on doing things they dont enjoy Id hazard a guess she finds them more fun than you would like. Not from Scranton either! Tell them in detail what you like about them. Its so easy to kill that spark in a child, well done to the mum for supporting her daughter in doing what she loves! But that he made the effort to give me my interests. Some article about historical events that are echoed in Firefly, for example, or some new technology that brings us one step closer to Star Trek, or the genuine history of witchcraft that was included in Harry Potter. I know my father and I did not share a lot of interests when I was growing up I read a lot and was introverted. Making your kids do shit they dont necessarily like a lot is just life. Choose a moment when he seems relaxed and talk with him about your worries. Or raising a child who should have a bigger perspective about the world and what is going on. But no amount of time spent is going to make an experience with someone who doesnt really respect you as you are more enjoyable. Make it easier for him to be his best self. For example, I taught my theatre kids The Crucible this year. I camped. YES! Here are 16 ways husbands can unintentionally push their daughters away: It can be difficult to maintain a good relationship between your husband and your daughter, but there are a few things you can do to help. My father (and mother, if I want to be totally honest) would criticize anything that my sister and I had an interest in, regardless of how much value it did or did not have. I dont think there is any one size fits all strategy. However, now as an adult, he appreciates my intelligence and how much thought and research I put into topics, even if we dont agree. She doesnt want counseling, but maybe parenting classes? He went to jail for beating up his new wife and hurting her little boy. I dont know where that gene comes from I know I dont have it. LW, you and your husband are a team. Its full of teen girls going crazy for Star Trek. Additionally, she may worry that if she stays in an unhappy marriage like yours, it will damage her relationship with her future spouse. Obviously the ex spent a lot of time with his family (20 years) as they had a lot of gatherings. You couldnt easily figure out what was going on, and you probably liked the challenge, so you became an eager relationship sleuth, avidly assembling clues that seem to make the next move more predictable. I was shocked that a father is rolling his eyes and telling his daughter that her interests annoy him. Husband treats 15 year old step son badly. Seriously though, Joss Whedon writes amazing TV his shows are some of the best the medium has to offer. Then ice cream after. I wonder, though, if it would seem less like forcing if maybe the mother and father both liked to camp? Expect my son to mediate a dispute between my daughter-in-law and myself. Why are we judging other peoples interests? This is actually not difficult. I dont think theres anything wrong with taking a child camping who doesnt necessarily like it that much. Thats unfortunate (to say the least! But since I knew his motivation for liking things was less about me than it was about his own inadequacy, and I didnt actually like him as a person. It should be a crime to roll your eyes at Buffy. If a father is not present in his daughters life, she may feel neglected and unloved. My partner teaches high school students and they went NUTS for Sherlock this past year. I didnt get the sense that the LW is only liking or disliking things to get closer to her daughter. findingtheearth This time is precious and its fleeting, and its understandable that you want to be well, greedy with it. Do you have any idea how thrilled he was? Unfortunately for your husband, its not as easy for him to nurture his relationship with his adolescent daughter and rather than helping him and by extension, your daughter create a closer parent-child bond, you seem to be almost delighting in the Us Against Him mentality you share with your daughter (we look forward to him traveling so we wont have to tiptoe around him, etc.). Same with the radio in the car I like country or musicals, he cant stand it, theres no way Id put that on. From Voyager, for some odd reason, The Q and the Grey really struck a chord with me and actually made me challenge all of my beliefs regarding what is beyond humanity. These dreams can also give you advice about what you need to do to steer your life in the direction you would like it to go. Build him up to your daughter while your opinion still means something to her. LW, I think encouraging your daughter to spend time with her dad is so important. July 2, 2013, 3:39 pm, A parent should NEVER make fun of their child.. I tried to go fishing with my dad a few times when I was younger and it was the most boring thing on the planet. Other times, it may be something more complicated, such as unresolved feelings of jealousy or resentment. This can cause a lot of tension in the family. And her ongoing view that this somehow makes her the better parent is definitely bordering on malicious, I got into I Love Lucy and Bewitched thanks to my mom!!